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Leaders’ pulse #2 - Why are you negative?

 

Thinking positively doesn’t necessarily come naturally all the time. actually, studies estimate that we have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day, and around 80% of those are negative of nature! Can you imagine that! Maybe that explains why you would have a bad feeling if you get called up by your boss for a meeting that you know nothing about. You’d get anxious thinking of all possible negative reasons why they called you. What’s kind of funny is that studies also show that 93% of negative expectations don’t happen, and 7% are due to reasons out of our control like disasters and death.

 

How power of trying

We’ve all seen this countless times, and know people on both ends of the optimism spectrum. One time I saw that manifest before my eyes was at one of the annual events held by a company I worked at, where all team globally gather with management. You know when we all at the office talk about how should management don’t listen to us, and they should do this and that to become successful? Well, at that event, it was announced that random individuals will be selected to go up the stage and address how they handle business, their challenges, and how they propose we handle them. It’s a golden opportunity for all of us, right? As I was, among few others, excited about it and were jumping in our seats to be noticed and selected, while some others were hiding. I was puzzled, and what I didn’t understand at the time is that while I saw an opportunity to speak up and a shot at changing things, others saw it as a threat! The result is that some of the suggestions from those who spoke up actually got considered and implemented, while zero of those who didn’t speak up were even heard, and this is what it’s all about. 

 

Factors that influence our perception

So what contributes to seeing the glass half full or half empty? What decides of we see an opportunity or a threat? There are five external factors: 

  1. Our Parents and the way we were raised. studies show that by the age of 7 years old, 90% of our beliefs are formed in our brains… 
  2. School, how teachers treated, encouraged or belittled us…
  3. Friends, the type of friends we were surrounded with…
  4. The Media: what we watched on TV or news, who we accepted as your role models… 
  5. Our own beliefs: and the limitations we grow up putting on yourself… 

I want you to take a moment to reflect on all those sources and what kind of beliefs did they develop in you. What kind of beliefs encouraged or discouraged you from taking a decision. You would realize that those experiences reflect our own self talk, and the story we tell ourselves.

 

How the story we tell ourselves defines our path

From all those factors that impact how we form our perception, stems the story we tell ourselves. If it’s a story of limiting beliefs or a story of empowerment. Do we tell ourselves a story of I’m not that guy who gets big ideas, or I’m not that girl who can become an executive or business owner one day? Or we’re the kind of person who dreams big, and says why not, I CAN do it! And if you wan to know which story you tell yourself, it’s got to be one of those three possibilities when you think of pursuing a goal, a dream or thinking to take up a new challenge:

  1. I CAN’T do it, I DON’T have the right skills for it. DON’T have the time. DON’T have the experience… 
  2. I can do it, BUT I’ve never done it before. BUT I don’t have the right support… 
  3. I CAN do this. I CAN give it a shot with the right planning. 

If your story is in the first or second, it’s the hard wired limiting belief perception, which you need to reframe into the third message of empowerment. I can get the promotion, and do the necessary effort and learning. I can become a top female executive or business owner when i’m fully dedicated for it. I can lose the weight, and develop healthier habits. I can change, and start now to enjoy the journey… Removing the “im” from impossible comes from the self-belief that we can, and the story we tell ourselves.

I hear you saying that you’ve tried before, many times, and it didn’t work… and I’m here to tell you that your history, doesn’t define your destiny! If you want to achieve something, anything, we ought to try. You’ve got to give it your best… 

You can listen to more about this and how I propose ways to build that strong success mindset that gets us to make that change in this episode #2 of my podcast: 

🎥YouTube: https://youtu.be/CzRb_UZvaMw 

🎙️Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/0hM5qLBhhN4vtwfyKNgwwa?si=eJVGmN8nTMqA7gXU80r8_A 

🎙️Apple  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tamer-talks-change/id1711897102?i=1000632793351https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tamer-talks-change/id1711897102?i=1000632793351

 

Stay inspired and keep moving towards your transformation! 

And remember…we can’t be upset for the results we didn’t get, for the effort we didn’t do.

Take responsibility. Own it! 

 

It's time to change

You know there's something that needs to change so you can finally be the leader you want to be and be confident without feeling no one understands or listens to you? Leading diverse teams comes with a lot of challenges...but all of them can be solved.

Let's talk and find out what you need to initiate change.

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